Memories of ME

Over the past several months I've been listening to a library of craft related podcasts on iTunes. A common theme I've found in them all is the questions that are asked. Often times an interviewer will ask questions such as, "Have you always been crafty?" or "Can you remember your 1st Craft?" Many interviewees respond the same way and tell stories of crafting with their mothers or grandmothers, some even their fathers.

As I listen to these interviews I start to think about my own past and my own craftiness. I interview myself in my head and imagine how I would answer these questions if I were invited to discuss my craft business and latest hit sensation craft project. (That day is many years away)

My answers take me back to Mayfield Oaks, the street where I grew up. they take me back to the days of Lisa Frank, Babysitters Club & everything purple unicorn. Warm memories of school art projects and summer rainy day projects with mom. So many memories, a good place for inspiration. At times it is a little overwhelming and feels like too many memories to manage.

I am turning to these memories to try to find myself . I want to start to journal these memories, "Memories of Me" and everything that defines the crafty adult I am becoming. I am dedicated to making my little business grow and so I am doing a little soul searching. I am trying to appreciate my past and understand how it helped me become me so that I may better prepare for my future and become the me I want to be.

At times I feel a little intimidated, like today. I was listening to a back issue of the Craft Sanity podcast (I don't remember exactly who was being interviewed) and one of the pearls of wisdom bestowed upon us was the advise to find your own style, don't be all over the place. I found this quite discouraging. For a split second my dream seemed to fizzle, like a bubble popping after hitting the grass. Poof.

It's hard finding an identity in the modern craft revival. (I get choked up thinking about this) I want to try it ALL and find myself like a hummingbird fluttering from flower to flower trying to sample the nectar that each flower has to offer. I too want to sample the gems of the craft world: plushies, pincushions, embroidery, aprons, scrapbooking, general sewing, knitting, crocheting, to name a few. I had to remind myself of this and it is ok to try it all. For a second I had to tell myself I was not the timid and unsure person that one statement made me feel like.

I am strong. I was born to craft. This is who I am and not just what I do. Not just the crafting, the creating. I want to do it all and it's ok to be all over the place. Yes, I have a hard time finishing some projects before starting a new one but when I put my mind to it, I can. I have passion and heart and imagination and that is more important than finding a specific style this early in the game.

Patience. that is what my friend told me. He has a gift for reading people and he can tell how badly I want to grow this business. he told me to be patient. I've grown a little anxious that things have'nt been moving quite as quickly as I want or had dreamed. Getting published right of way fanned the flame of desire and I lost track of the overall goal.

Have fun, I tell myself. The rest will follow. I will use my own creativity to measure my progress and success. God does not hand out cookie cutter lives or destiny. I will experience the joys that life brings at the correct time. Like a little girl who wants to grow up too fast, I want to grow faster than is destined. Take your time Amy.

The ONLY down side to listening to some of these craft podcasts is that I start to feel like an outsider at times. Some of the veteran/professional crafters start paint the craft world as as an exclusive club and have project for the "cool girls/kids". I experienced a flashback to elementary, wanting to do what all the other girls are doing but being too young to join them.

That was until today. I was listening to the Craft Sanity (my new addiction) podcast archive. Jennifer was interviewing Greg Der Ananian, founder of Bazaar Bizarre. He made a statement about not being all the same as long as you are a nice person. That's all I am and never claim to be anything more than a crafty nice person. Thanks Greg for giving back my confidence in a simple statement.

(Sorry for such a long post, it was all weighing on my mind all day and couldn't go to bed until I had blogged it, Thank you for making it all the way down here)